Zvaunofanira kupfeka, Zvaunofanira Kupa, uye Zvaungaita Nezviitiko Zvisinganzwisisiki
Wagadzirira nguva yechato muN NYC here? Michato inofanirwa kuva nguva dzekupemberera, asi dzimwe nguva inokudza tsika dzakanaka dzevaeni. Iwe unofanirwa kushandisa mari yakawanda sei pamuchato wako muNewC? Unogona here kuunza mueni? Iwe unoti sei kwete kuva chikwata? Iwe unogona kupfekedza chipfeko chakatsva icho chaicho kumusikana wako wechato here?
Takabvunza Manhattan -basa rekuchata mazano echato Elise MacAdam, munyori weChimwe Chitsva: Wedding Etiquette yeRule Breakers, Traditionalists, uye Munhu wese Ari pakati , kupindura mamwe emibvunzo yakawanda inowanikwa kuNew York City vashanyi vomuchato.
Mutambo Womuchato Dilemma # 1: Chii chandinofanira kuita pamusoro pemuchato wemuchato? Ndinotenga kubva pane registry here? Ipa mari? Ngani? Ndinofanira kuuyisa kumuchato here?
Zano raElise: Hapana mimwe mitemo pamusoro pezvipo zvechichato uye apo iyo mitemo inoshandiswa munyika yose, inonyanya kuitika muNew York uko vanhu vanobva mumamiriro akasiyana-siyana akasiyana netsika dzakasiyana. Vamwe chete vanopa mari, vamwe chete zvipo, nezvimwe. Paiva nemitemo yakawanda muNew York yezana remakore rechi19, apo michato yemuchato yaitarisira kuti vashanyi varege kurega kupa zvipo, kunyanya zvinhu zvakadai semabhanhire kana imba dzeimba dzinofungidzira kuti yehukama hwepedyo.
Chinonyanya kukosha ndechekuti vashanyi havadi "kubhadhara mahwendefa avo" uye hapana chiyero chakatemerwa chezvipo. Vanofanira kupa zvavanokwanisa uye izvo zvavanonzwa sokupa. Kana ivo vakagumburwawo kuti varege kupa chero chinhu, vanofanira kutumira vaviri vakaroorana vadhidhi vachivakurudzira uye vachitaura kuti vanofara sei kuve vakabatanidzwa mumhemberero.
Kazhinji, haisi pfungwa yakanakisisa yekuunza zvipo kumuchato pachako. Vaya vachangobva kuchata vacharamba vachiedza kuedza kuwana zvinhu zvose pamusha pakuguma kwekugamuchira uye mikana yemazuva enyu ekurasikirwa kana kuputsika yakakwirira kwazvo kudarika kana iwe wakatumirwa.
Muchato Womuchato Dilemma # 2: Shamwari yekare asi isiri-yepedyo yakandikumbira kuti ndive mumutambo wechato chake. Ndakanga ndiri chikwata kanomwe mumakore matatu apfuura uye ini chaizvoizvo handigoni kuzviwanira ikozvino. Pane nzira ipi yekudzinga mari?
Zano raElise: Zvinotarisirwa vanhu vane zvevakaroorana vanoramba vachikura uye zvinodhura.
Kune nzira dzekukumbira, asi chete nekunyanyisa kwakanyanya uye mufambiro wakanaka.
Mukadzi ndiye shamwari yako uye anofanira kuziva mamiriro ehupenyu hwako. Iwe usati wakaramba basa, taura nemwenga uye uite kuti azive nezvekukwanisa kwako. Kana iye ane zvishoma zvatinotarisira, iwe haufaniri kurasa kuremekedzwa (iwe ungasatombofanira kutotenga mbatya). Kana iwe unofanirwa kunge uri mwenga wechirume chete kana mumwe wevanhu vashoma chete, zvichava zvakaoma kukudzikisa chikumbiro, asi zvichava nyore kwauri kutaurirana neshamwari yako pamusoro pemari yako yekusagadzikana uye kusvika kune imwe nzira yekutengesa. Chaizvoizvo, hapana munhu anofanirwa kupinda muchikwereti kuti ave chikwata chemhuri.
Zvechokwadi, kana chikamu chemuchato chiri chakakura, iwe uchiri kudikanwa kuti uudze shamwari yako kuti hausi mukana wekutora mari yakawedzera kuzvipira uye haudi kubvumira munhu pasi. Iti iwe unofara iwe wakabvunzwa kuva mumuchato asi iwe unofunga kuti iwe unenge wakanyatsogadzikana kana ukagara uri "mutorwa" mushanyi.
Mutambo Womuchato Dilemma # 3: Ndakakokwa kumuchato wangu womuishandi. Zita rangu ndiro ndiro chete pamusana wekukoka. Handifungi kuti anoziva kuti ndine mukomana woupenyu. Ndiri ini RSVP isu tose kana kuti ndinofanira kuenda solo?
Zano raElise: Izvi ndizvo zvaunoda chaizvo kutaura naye.
Iwe haufaniri kuwedzera mumwe munhu asina kukokwa kumukiti wako wekupindura uye iwe unofanira kungozviratidza nemukomana wako. Sezvo uri muukama hurefu hurefu, iwe newawakaroorana naye munofanira kukokwa kumichato semurume nomudzimai. Hapana chakaipa nekukumbira zvine chiremerera kana iwe nemukomana wako muchigona kuenda kumuchato pamwe chete. Kana iwe uchiudzwa kuti iwe unofanirwa kupinda pamba, iwe unogona kusarudza kuenda iwe pachako kana kugara muchato kunze.
Mutambo Womuchato Dilemma # 4: Ndine jira chena randinoda uye ndinotarisa chaizvo. Iyo haina kutaridzika senguo yomuchato. Ndinogona kuifukidza kumuchato weshamwari yangu here?
Zano raElise: Sei uchikwevera mubhodhi? Inowanzoonekwa sechimiro chisina kunaka kupfeka chena kusvika kumuchato kunze kwekuti iwe uri mwenga uye iwe unopinda mumupfeko iwoyo zvinogona kukutorera nyore nyore maitiro akachena.
Zvechokwadi, pane zvisizvo kumutemo uyu.
Dzimwe nguva vakaroorana vanofukidzira vakaroorana vavo mumuchena uye kune mhemberero yemichato umo vashanyi vanorayirwa kuti vafukidze madema kana machena (Truman Capote vakaita iyi festi yakakurumbira mukurumbira wake mukurumbira 1966 Black uye White Ball kukudza Katherine Graham paPaza Hotel).
Asi kunze kwekuti iwe wakanyatsoziva iwe hauchazoita seuri kuedza kuba chiedza chemwenga, tsvaka chimwe chinhu chokupfeka. Funga nezveizvi semukana wekutenga.
Mutambo Womuchato Dilemma # 5: Ndakakokwa kumutambo wekubatana. Ndinofanira kuuya nechipo here?
Zano raElise: Hapana mvumo yemazuva ano yekuita mapato mapato. Izvo zvakanyanya kusvika kwauri. Kana iwe uchida kuunza chimwe chinhu, iwe haufaniri kuenderera mberi. Zvinofadza, zvipo zvinoshandiswa zvakadai sewaini, chokoti, kana zvimwe zvigadzirwa zvepamusoro zvinosarudzwa uye hazvirevi kutakura zvakanyanya nemufananidzo, saka iwe unogona kuvapa pasina kufungidzira zvakaoma pamusoro pechiito.